It’s still full-on summer here, which is great news for condiment-addicted folks like myself. Never is there a greater opportunity to slather grilled vegetables, meats and other delights in sinfully amazing concoctions, then there is during barbecue season. I would argue, in fact, that most of what I prepare in the summer is merely a vehicle to transport mustards, relishes, marinades and dressings into my waiting tummy.
To that end I present Hot Damn Zucchini Relish, an infinitely tweakable, locally adaptable colourful topper that makes my mouth water just thinking about it.
Babble-free recipe: Cackle Fruit Hot Damn Zucchini Relish (PDF)
Normally I would do mine with a scotch bonnet pepper, but I acknowledge the fact that searing your esophagus and giggling through capsaicin-induced tears is not everyone’s idea of a good time, so I’ve lowered the heat a bit and changed the flavour by using pre-pickled (guess I’m out of the canners guild…) peperoncini. If you’re feeling adventurous, give the scotch bonnet a try, but start at a low dose, say half a pepper per batch since these puppies are at least 10x hotter than the hottest jalapeño, which is about 10x hotter than the friendly peperoncini’s used in this version.
In Prep — Your Grocery List
** this relish is actually a semi-negligent two day process. Day 1 involves the salting, and Day 2 involves the processing, so plan accordingly!
- 7 medium sized zucchini, either yellow or green or a combination
- 1 large sweet bell pepper (orange, yellow or red, your choice)
- 1 large onion
- 3-4 pickled peperoncini peppers, or any variety of hot pepper depending on your tolerance
- 1/4 cup pickling or Kosher salt
- 1 1/4 cup good old white sugar
- 1 1/2 tsp. each of ground nutmeg and turmeric
Chop your zucchini, pepper and onion into small bits and toss them into a big bowl. If you find texture offensive, finely dice them, but if you’re like me and don’t mind things a little chunky (take that as you may) you can keep the pieces a bit bigger and slightly irregular. The bowl should look like Carnivale in food form. The more colourful your mix of raw veggies, the more interesting looking your relish will be. I tend to use combos of green and yellow zucchini, orange and yellow bell peppers and white onions, though red would be kinda neat as well. You will be tempted to eat it raw at this point, so delicious is its appearance and crunchy nature. Resist. Keep your focus. Relish, relish, relish. Sprinkle the chopped veggies with the salt, mix it well, and then just cover up the bowl and throw it into the fridge overnight.
When you take it out the next day, you should see a pool of greenish-yellow liquid that’s been leeched out of the veggies by the salt. Put the veggies in a colander and press them lightly to wring out as much liquid as possible. Do NOT mash them to a pulp or your relish will just be an insipid mess. Put the drained veggies in a pot with the sugar, nutmeg, turmeric, and diced hot peppers and bring to a boil. Reduce to medium heat and cook until the relish starts to thicken (around 45 mins). Better to keep the temperature down and take longer during the cooking process than to have the heat too high and end up scorching some of the sugar. No one likes that taste, especially on a hot dog.
Ladle your creation into jars, follow the standard lock and load canning procedure (post forthcoming in the near future) and process in boiling water for 15 mins. Keep in a cool spot, like the fridge or cellar, for months, though I’m pretty sure it’s never going to last that long.
Cackle Fruit 